15 December 2008

Discipline and Procrastination

I tend to be one of those people who put off a ten-minute task for days or weeks at a time. For example, I finally just updated my blogroll list on the right side of my page. Silly and small, perhaps, but something that I thought about doing every day, but always put off. Other things are not so silly or small. I have no discipline in my life, and I need it desperately. Even college did not provide enough structure for me. I need maximum structure in order to really be productive. High school was good for me in that way - nevermind that those providing the structure did not really teach me anything. Two separate issues, there.

Other things that fall into this problematic category:
- cleaning my room
- applying for jobs
- applying for grad schools
- prayer
- reading
- eating (sometimes. like now, for example. I am hungry, it is nearly two hours past lunch-time, but I do not feel like putting in the effort of fixing and eating lunch)
- blogging and/or journaling
- staying in touch with friends
- shopping for Christmas presents (two actually valid reasons for putting this off are my lack of money and my dislike for shopping)
- buying a mouse for Esmeralda to eat
- filling Esmeralda's water dish
- responding to emails
- figuring out student loan stuff

Pretty much everything I ought to be doing in my life, when I look at it all typed out there. Tragic.

So, what am I actually doing with my life, then?! Not much. Sitting around thinking how I ought to do things. Playing solitaire and/or minesweeper. Reading through archives of comics. What a sad, sad existence.

Every once in a while I do actually get something done. I applied for four jobs this morning, and now I am updating my blog. And I do plan on eating sometime today...sigh. I really need to get my act together. But I do not know how to start having discipline in my life. With no definite deadlines, I lose my motivation. With no bells and schedules and teachers, I have nothing to keep me on track. I have an agenda that I try to use, but it requires internal motivation. As I mentioned, that is lacking. Blah. Off to find lunch.

Blessings on your travels,


Anonymous said...

Oh, it's not a sad existence. In general, I have the opposite problem: I can't manage to sit down with a cup of tea and a book because I'll notice the plants need to be watered. Then, I'll start a load of laundry. Oh! Might as well sweep the front walk while I'm up. Those clean dishes should be put away. Ding! Time to change the laundry. The house is never clean enough or tidy enough to render me unable to spot another task.

- staying in touch with friends
I assume this includes me. It makes me feel a little better to think that
(a) I'm not alone in your neglect, and
(b) You're aware.
I love you anyway and I'll always pick up the phone to call when I miss you!

- shopping for Christmas presents (two actually valid reasons for putting this off are my lack of money and my dislike for shopping)
Hear, hear!

- eating

At least you know when it's time to plan a trip to visit me. :-)

Joshua said...

I think you forgot something really REALLY important: Exercise!

The number one way to fight depression and anxiety!

Has an extremely high correlation with motivated peopleses!

Feels good!

No more annoying !!!!, sorry.

But you should probably add some physical activity to your list, and I would advise on making it a priority, as it will help you to get the rest of your list done, and enjoy it too.

I know that when I am having trouble with getting things done getting back to a workout routine is the best way for me to tackle a project too. And an exercise routine will give you a constant reminder of your schedule, as you'll FEEL it when you don't make that morning... whatever it is.

Calvin said...

The not answering email thing? My record for not answering an email is 2 months...... :)

Anonymous said...

WHO is this Joshua fellow?
I hope you know better than to give in to his exercise propaganda.