They do not tell you, you know that? They say it is wonderful and magical. Which it is. But it also sucks.
Maybe I have only known people who have had lovely pregnancies, who got a little sick first trimester, who felt amazing second trimester, who slept just fine and can not wait to do it again. Maybe. Or maybe it is all just lies to propagate the species. Maybe everyone just forgets how much it sucks once baby comes. Because I do believe that it will be worth it. But it also sucks.
I am at thirty weeks, now. Almost to seven months. I still get morning sickness, though not as often as at first. But more suddenly and violently. I was not able to eat meat for the first five months. Any meat. At all. (I still can not handle pork or fish.) And eggs were suspect, and hot cereal and most vegetables were iffy. Potatoes were my friend. Of course, they always have been, but that was my primary sustenance. For five months. Five. Months.
I am exhausted and have been the entire time. I did not get any sort of energy-boost for my second trimester. In fact, that is when the fainting and dizzy-spells started. Yes, I am getting enough to eat. No, we do not know why my body hates me. It seems to happen when I am too warm, which is apparently when I am warm at all, so now we keep the house at about sixty most of the time and I have been wearing light clothes even though it is usually still really cold out. Because as much as I hate being cold (a lot. I hate it a lot), I hate fainting more.
Once I got the dizziness under control, the insomnia set in. I have not slept well since mid-January. Again, we do not know why my body hates me. I will be so sleepy, we will go to bed, my dear husband will be dead asleep in fifteen seconds, and my brain will decide to switch back on. "Doo-bee-doo. Here we are. We are lying in bed. Sure wish I could sleep. Hey! Let's think about everything! Everything in the WORLD! That sounds like a good plan." Stupid brain. Or my muscles will go into spasms. This is another thing: my muscles have gotten so tense. I have to stretch multiple times throughout the day to even have a possibility of relaxing at night. The sleep has been helped by magnesium supplements and exercise and drinking more water and having a little snack before bed. I do not know if all or one of those things helped, but I am sure as heck not trying to figure out which specifically is helping. But I am still only getting a few hours a night, partially due to the insomnia, and partially due to the whole "pregnancy makes you have to pee a lot, and also makes it so you are not comfortable in any position when you are lying down" thing. (I have, since I can remember, slept flat on my stomach. Now the only position I can fall asleep in is on my left side. And then only sometimes.)
It is a self-perpetuating cycle: I do not sleep well/can not get to sleep until really late, so after dear husband leaves for work, I go back to bed and sleep for several hours (I sleep a lot better during the day). But then at bedtime, I have not been awake for long, so I have trouble getting to sleep. Repeat cycle. But it is better than no sleep at all. Because I have tried not going back to sleep or napping, but then I am just entirely exhausted and still have insomnia. Usually those nights end up with my dear husband waking up to me sobbing into my pillow because I have been lying there for four hours, and have tried eating, and have tried taking a bath and stretching, and have tried freaking everything and nothing is working and why does my body hate me and waaaaaaah! So we have decided that sleeping during the day is probably a good plan.
I fell on Monday. On the stairs. I do not know how it happened. One second I was going down the stairs, and next, I was clinging to the rail with both hands, with my feet flailing beneath/below me trying to regain my footing. Thank goodness I was holding the railing, or I would have tumbled. Womulet is fine; I did not hit my torso area at all. As it was, though, both my arms got yanked and my left leg got twisted really badly. Why does this fall under "Pregnancy Sucks"? Because pregnant people do not get to take medicine. I can have Tylenol. Which helps a very very little bit. But I am not allowed to have any sort of anti-inflammatory medicines. Which is really what I needed/need. Because Tylenol kills the pain for a little while, but does not really help my muscles heal at all. So I am stuck with two VERY sore arms, and back twinges, and leg cramps (my leg has mostly healed now, but my arms are still killing me). Two days later. It sucks.
There are other little things. It is annoying to not be able to lift or maneuver things. Bending over is difficult. Getting in and out of bed (or the car. or up from the couch.) is ridiculously strenuous. My hormones have made my emotions even more haywire than usual. I do not know how much longer I will be able to drive, because my legs are short and I have to sit really close to reach the pedals, but my belly is already almost touching the wheel - I am not going to fit for much longer. I have heartburn and Tums do not help. It all sucks.
I am tired of this, and ready for it to be over now, please. I really really hope that I forget how miserable I have been for the past seven months (and likely the next two), because we want lots of kids. And this sucks.
Blessings on your travels,
Emily
Maybe I have only known people who have had lovely pregnancies, who got a little sick first trimester, who felt amazing second trimester, who slept just fine and can not wait to do it again. Maybe. Or maybe it is all just lies to propagate the species. Maybe everyone just forgets how much it sucks once baby comes. Because I do believe that it will be worth it. But it also sucks.
I am at thirty weeks, now. Almost to seven months. I still get morning sickness, though not as often as at first. But more suddenly and violently. I was not able to eat meat for the first five months. Any meat. At all. (I still can not handle pork or fish.) And eggs were suspect, and hot cereal and most vegetables were iffy. Potatoes were my friend. Of course, they always have been, but that was my primary sustenance. For five months. Five. Months.
I am exhausted and have been the entire time. I did not get any sort of energy-boost for my second trimester. In fact, that is when the fainting and dizzy-spells started. Yes, I am getting enough to eat. No, we do not know why my body hates me. It seems to happen when I am too warm, which is apparently when I am warm at all, so now we keep the house at about sixty most of the time and I have been wearing light clothes even though it is usually still really cold out. Because as much as I hate being cold (a lot. I hate it a lot), I hate fainting more.
Once I got the dizziness under control, the insomnia set in. I have not slept well since mid-January. Again, we do not know why my body hates me. I will be so sleepy, we will go to bed, my dear husband will be dead asleep in fifteen seconds, and my brain will decide to switch back on. "Doo-bee-doo. Here we are. We are lying in bed. Sure wish I could sleep. Hey! Let's think about everything! Everything in the WORLD! That sounds like a good plan." Stupid brain. Or my muscles will go into spasms. This is another thing: my muscles have gotten so tense. I have to stretch multiple times throughout the day to even have a possibility of relaxing at night. The sleep has been helped by magnesium supplements and exercise and drinking more water and having a little snack before bed. I do not know if all or one of those things helped, but I am sure as heck not trying to figure out which specifically is helping. But I am still only getting a few hours a night, partially due to the insomnia, and partially due to the whole "pregnancy makes you have to pee a lot, and also makes it so you are not comfortable in any position when you are lying down" thing. (I have, since I can remember, slept flat on my stomach. Now the only position I can fall asleep in is on my left side. And then only sometimes.)
It is a self-perpetuating cycle: I do not sleep well/can not get to sleep until really late, so after dear husband leaves for work, I go back to bed and sleep for several hours (I sleep a lot better during the day). But then at bedtime, I have not been awake for long, so I have trouble getting to sleep. Repeat cycle. But it is better than no sleep at all. Because I have tried not going back to sleep or napping, but then I am just entirely exhausted and still have insomnia. Usually those nights end up with my dear husband waking up to me sobbing into my pillow because I have been lying there for four hours, and have tried eating, and have tried taking a bath and stretching, and have tried freaking everything and nothing is working and why does my body hate me and waaaaaaah! So we have decided that sleeping during the day is probably a good plan.
I fell on Monday. On the stairs. I do not know how it happened. One second I was going down the stairs, and next, I was clinging to the rail with both hands, with my feet flailing beneath/below me trying to regain my footing. Thank goodness I was holding the railing, or I would have tumbled. Womulet is fine; I did not hit my torso area at all. As it was, though, both my arms got yanked and my left leg got twisted really badly. Why does this fall under "Pregnancy Sucks"? Because pregnant people do not get to take medicine. I can have Tylenol. Which helps a very very little bit. But I am not allowed to have any sort of anti-inflammatory medicines. Which is really what I needed/need. Because Tylenol kills the pain for a little while, but does not really help my muscles heal at all. So I am stuck with two VERY sore arms, and back twinges, and leg cramps (my leg has mostly healed now, but my arms are still killing me). Two days later. It sucks.
There are other little things. It is annoying to not be able to lift or maneuver things. Bending over is difficult. Getting in and out of bed (or the car. or up from the couch.) is ridiculously strenuous. My hormones have made my emotions even more haywire than usual. I do not know how much longer I will be able to drive, because my legs are short and I have to sit really close to reach the pedals, but my belly is already almost touching the wheel - I am not going to fit for much longer. I have heartburn and Tums do not help. It all sucks.
I am tired of this, and ready for it to be over now, please. I really really hope that I forget how miserable I have been for the past seven months (and likely the next two), because we want lots of kids. And this sucks.
Blessings on your travels,
Emily
1 comment:
First things first, *hugs*. I haven't had it nearly as bad as you have, but I can sympathize. Sleeping through the night feels dreamlike (ha), Tylenol doesn't make a dent, and tums. They're like candy right now. ><
On the bright side, you're over halfway there!!
Hang in there! You can do it :)
Feel free to email me if you need to rant at someone!
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